I have been on this streak to obey God (His doing of course) no matter what He says, no matter how crazy, no matter how wild. Obviously I didn't do this perfectly but His plan was the plan and that was all. The only thing is, my expectations and His weren't completely aligned. I'd done everything He'd said and when the outcome wasn't what I thought it might be, I honestly felt like a failure. My mind said that I wasn't and my spirit was saying that there was something brighter on the horizon but my emotions were still there because--well--I'm human. I felt like a kid and just wanted to sit down for awhile. It was crazy because He said He was proud of me. I had given it everything I had. I wanted to cry but the tears would never come. I wanted to scream but I didn't have the lungs or the want for it. What worried me most was if I'd missed God because of me. I realized at the end of it that all I wanted was to please God and if there was something He had for me I knew it was good; I just didn't want to miss out on it. He literally did what I was scared of most, being at the end of myself with no next move in sight. I felt like I was out of options with nowhere to go but HERE wherever HERE was at the time. Eventually, after some time, He made the next move clear but in the moment I just had to trust that He is God and He always knows what He's doing. He always knows best and He is never wrong--ever.
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way." Psalm 37:23 (KJV)
Things you have to remember when times are frustrating or confusing:
1) GOD is GOOD. Truly GOOD. Amazingly GOOD.
2) He loves you and has never not protected you.
3) He has not abandoned you.
4) He will never lead you astray if you listen and lean into Him.